


Really Terrible

by TheGoodDoctor



Series: Group Targets [19]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Haunted Houses, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-19
Updated: 2016-10-19
Packaged: 2018-08-23 10:39:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8324647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGoodDoctor/pseuds/TheGoodDoctor
Summary: “Eve, this was an awful idea. Really terrible.” Bill folds his arms, glaring at her. This had the added bonus of hiding his trembling fingers.She laughs delightedly at his response. “We're going to have so much fun,” Eve says.





	

**Author's Note:**

> A preface; this talks about blood and scary things as would be found in a horror maze, and a whole load of swearing. If this isn't your jam, don't read this. If you do and think I need to tag anything, please let me know x

“Eve, this was an awful idea. Really terrible.” Bill folds his arms, glaring at her. This had the added bonus of hiding his trembling fingers.

She laughs delightedly at his response. “We're going to have so much fun,” Eve says.

The attendant at the front of the queue looks boredly at them. “Where's the rest of your party?”

Eve raises an eyebrow. “Rest? We are the party. Drink us in.”

He glares at her. “Five in a party, minimum.”

Eve starts to complain but Bill grabs her arm. “Such a shame, better go then, never mind-”

“You could join these three,” the attendant suggests. “They don't have a party either.”

Eve beams. “Thanks!” She pulls the reluctant Bill back to the front and smiles as the three other guys. “I'm Eve, this is Bill.”

“James, Q, Gareth,” one guy says, pointing to himself and the others. His arm is wrapped around Q who looks less than enthused about the whole thing, and Gareth offers them a wave from where he stands nearest the door eagerly.

“Looking forward to it?” Eve asks.

Gareth and James nod. Bill and Q make disgruntled faces. James laughs. “Don't worry, dear, I'll protect you,” he says, squeezing Q’s shoulder.

“I don't need your protection,” Q says unhappily. He presses closer to James’ side anyway. “It's not real.”

“Just scary,” Bill says, glaring in response to Eve’s hopeful grin.

The attendant finally waves them over. “Keep your hands on the person in front’s shoulders at all times. Explore as long as you like.” He shrugs. “Have fun, I guess.”

He tugs Bill forwards and give him a torch. “Does this mean I lead?” he says dubiously. The guy nods and places Gareth’s hands on his shoulders. “Can I... _not_ do that?”

Gareth squeezes his shoulders, laughing softly. “It'll be fine. Q, how are you getting on?”

“I hate everything,” he says, from somewhat in the region of Gareth’s shoulderblades. This startles a laugh from even Bill and James presses a kiss to the back of his neck. Q shudders. “Euch, no, don't do that.”

James rests his head on Q’s shoulder. “Your main worry is ghost _kisses_?” he says, half-delighted, half-incredulous.

Eve fidgets at the back. “Can we go, already?”

Bill shrugs. “I don't know, I kinda like it here.” Gareth gives him a gentle shove and he sighs. “Fine. This is stupid.”

“You've said that a million times today alone,” Eve says as they process slowly into the dark horror maze.

“It bears repeating.” Bill moves the flashlight around slowly, illuminating peeling wallpaper and greying ceilings. “Charming place they have here.”

“Love what they've done with it,” James laughs. “Really respects the building.”

“Hmm,” Bill says, “and the grey brings in light, you know, and - _oh bloody hell what the fuck is that?_ \- opens up the space,” he continues, slightly shakily, over Q’s scream and Eve’s maniacal laughter, turning away from the blood-soaked doll.

Gareth is laughing softly behind him. “Turn left,” he says excitedly. “It looks creepier.”

“You sadistic bastard,” Q moans as they trudge down the left passage.

There is the whistling sound of wind, or breath, and James squeals. “Something touched my neck!”

Eve and Gareth hang off the shoulders of those in front, collapsing into laughter. James’ embarrassment is practically audible, but Bill and Q are too busy hunching their shoulders and tucking their heads to their chests to take advantage. “Schadenfreude is rife,” Q says unhappily.

Bill presses on, and a clock slowly ticking becomes louder and louder until it reverberates around them. In the middle of the room the ticking stops, and, as one, so does the group. The dim lighting flickers brighter, illuminating the room suddenly and briefly, showing them an empty living room with a large grandfather clock, chintz sofas and crooked picture frames. Just as quickly, the lighting vanishes, plunging them into pitch blackness. Gareth is fairly sure that he can hear more than five lungs at work in the small space. He is certain that he can feel his own pulse in his ears. All the lights turn back on, brighter than ever, and there is a little girl with long, dark hair falling about her waist. It contrasts starkly with her white, blood-splattered gown and supernaturally pale skin, in which her dark eyes look more like gaping holes. She grins at them with her dead eyes, pointing a large, dull, bloody cleaver at them.

“ _Shitting hell!_ ” Bill screams directly into her face. Gareth is buzzing with adrenaline, and pushes Bill past her into the next room.

“Fuck me,” Q announces. Eve is still laughing, and Gareth is grinning madly. Q huffs a laugh shakily. “James, you okay? I left that one open for you.”

James whines. “I have made many mistakes,” he says.

Now it's Q’s turn to laugh. “I can't tell you how much more I'm enjoying this now, dear.”

“What was that about schadenfreude, again?” Gareth says, grinning.

“Eve, you okay back there?” Bill says.

There is silence.

“Eve?” James says.

“Shiii-” Bill breathes, but breaks off when Eve starts laughing. “Oh, fuck you. I hate you. I actually hate you.”

“You love it,” she says merrily.

Gareth feels Bill’s head flop back and thump against his chest. “End my suffering.”

* * *

They make it through three more rooms before the proverbial shit really starts to hit the proverbial fan.

It's the spiders that finish James off; a room covered in the things, long black legs everywhere, scrambling and scrabbling over the furniture and, on one memorable occasion, James. “We have to leave!” he screams. “We have to leave _right now!_ ”

Gareth failed to mention his one phobia before they began, so the room with the clown hanging from the ceiling and swinging slightly in some mysterious breeze led to an unknown scream. This, in turn, freaked out Q, and James still wasn't over the spiders.

“ _Right_!” Bill bellows over his friends’ screaming. They shut up. “We are going to leave _now._ ”

“Bill, there are still at least three more rooms,” Eve points out.

Bill shakes his head. “Now.”

Pointing the flashlight straight in front of him and no-where else, he marches through the door, followed like a mother duck by a line of terrified ducklings. An actor in a Kruger mask screams in his face, and he screams back, legs working mechanically at exactly the same pace.

Eve shrieks at the back. “Zombies!”

“Not today! Fuck this!” Bill yells back. Gareth cowers behind him as he pushes past rotting skeletons and kicks rats away.

“Fuck this,” Q repeats, like a mantra, as they attempt to ignore their surroundings, the actors, and the copious amounts of blood which stain the walls, floors and props.

* * *

Bill reaches the door and slams it open, bursting out into the daylight and into a sprint. He charges as far from the maze as he can get before his jelly-legs kick in and he collapses to the floor. Gareth stumbles after him, blinking in the light. James and Q cling to each other's hands, white knuckled, and Eve stands in the sunlight, head tipped back to the sky, and laughs.

“God, I am glad to be alive,” she grins, jogging over to where Bill is face-down on the floor, the other boys sitting around him.

“Me too,” Q says irritably, “I just didn't need that confirmed.”

Eve looks at Gareth to see his reaction. Nothing is happening on his face, but something is clearly going on his head, eyes fixed straight ahead. He shudders, despite the heat.

“I take it you remove the spiders from the bath?” Eve says to Q, and James groans.

“If I never see another spider, it will be too damn soon,” James says, resting his head on Q’s shoulder.

Q nudges him. “Nice protection you gave me back there.”

“What’d you want me to do?” James says unhappily.

Q pretends to think. “I don't know, maybe _don't take me in the maze in the first place?_ ”

Eve pats Bill’s back. “Wasn't so bad, huh?” Bill turns his head to eyeball her from the tarmac. She leans back. “Okay, it was so bad, sorry. Good use of sarcasm as a coping mechanism, by the way.”

“Also recommended is profuse and foul swearing,” Bill says, slightly muffled by the floor. “Also not going.”

Eve grins at Gareth, who has now somewhat recovered, and he grins back awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment. “See, Gareth’s okay. Who’s up for another go?”

Gareth’s face falls. James and Q glare. Bill flips her off.

She gets the message.


End file.
